With Your Powers Combined

With your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!  To annoy Thomas, I was singing that song into my radio this morning.  But it’s a good theme for today anyway.

After the dreadful heat and humidity and wind yesterday, I told Thomas that it would be nice if he could ride up through Toledo for me this morning and I’d take the last 50 miles.  But Thomas wanting to get as much exercise as possible decided he wanted to ride an extra twenty miles and do about half the ride.  So he rode 30 miles at a very quick pace.  Then I took over and did the last 30 miles at a really quick pace.  With our powers combined, we absolutely dominated today.  We left after ten in the morning and arrived in Lincoln Park, Michigan, a little over sixty miles from Perrysburg, Ohio, just after two in the afternoon.  Considering that one of the roads we were on was a dirt road with giant potholes all over the place, and we sometimes had to stop for passing trains, we were really flying and we both feel great now.  By the way, Lincoln Park is right next to Detroit.

So, the place we’re staying at is really ironic or coincidental, I’m not sure which.  As we were coming down the final road, Thomas said, “supposedly the place we’re staying at is on this road.”  I replied by saying, “Umm, are you sure?”  Because we were on a residential road and the building at the end of the road clearly was a sketchy place.  When we reached the end of the road, we both stopped and gave each other a look.  Lo and behold, the place we are staying for the next two nights is indeed that sketchy building. 

What was really hilarious was when Thomas double-checked my reservations and asked with a shocked tone, “Is that the Lamplighter Motel???”  I read the sign and said yes.  Then he said, “John, do you know what lamplighter stands for?”  Not knowing anything about anything, I shook my head no, and Thomas slapped his hand against his forehead and looked at me as if I’m an idiot.  “John, lamplighter is for strip clubs and such.” 

Well, apparently lamplighter is also a slang term for a really tall bike.  Unfortunately that’s not the lamplighter being referred to.  Thomas was right.  Thomas's girlfriend has done some research for us and we’ve discovered that “Lamplighter” is a historic nightclub in Vancouver.  I should have figured it out, though, because there’s a bar right in front of the motel called, “Bada Bing,” with a naked woman on the logo.  I had no clue what I was getting us into when I booked this place. 

I guess that we now have a up-close and personal view of the world of prostitution and slavery.  Based on our surveillance of the place so far, Thomas has already supposed that this is the type of place where pimps come and I’ve guessed that it’s the type of place where husbands come for a day or two to have uninhibited fun away from the family.  The problem is (although our parents might think it’s a good thing), we are too afraid to go outside except to eat.  We don’t want to experience anything here.  The vibe of the entire place is negative.  I can’t stop laughing because I think scary situations like this are hilarious, and I think it’s hilarious that of all places we are staying at a Lamplighter Motel with a strip joint on its property. 

I, for one, never knew places like this existed, but now we can maybe leave here on Friday morning with better insights into the world that we are fighting against.